Tag Archives: Tiger Woods

Cat-astrophe.

28 Mar

Take one minute and one second to watch this:

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…….This commercial? I haven’t seen anything this gay since that Michael Bolton Christmas sweater party at Elton John’s house, and there was a double rainbow that day. Cat women everywhere rejoice. Who is the marketing director over there at Fancy Feast? And what does this commercial have anything to do with cat food? I know nothing about the ingredients, health benefits, nutritional value, flavors, nothing. I was prepared to see “Every kiss begins with Kay,” and instead I got a bowl of low-grade tuna and a meowing ball of cotton. What’s more startling than the advertisement itself, though, is the commentary that followed. Take this one for example:

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I LOVE THIS COMMERCIAL!! Thanks for showing me my dream man/dream proposal!!!!!

aheh44 1 day ago 9 
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Oh boy. If this is your dream proposal, you’re never going to get proposed to. Don’t worry about it. Even scarier is that this comment got 9 “likes.”
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Just love it when that little darling lies on his back with his feet in the air.
annabelle2ful 1 hour ago
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….creepier than a mustache at Chuck E. Cheese’s.

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You know you’re a woman when a cat food commercial makes you cry.

mskillzeee 3 hours ago 3 

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Actually, Ms. Killzee, you know you’re a hopeless, lifeless, forever single, Chicken Soup For The Pet Lovers Soul-addict when a cat food commercial makes you cry. You need help. The professional variety.

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Such a adorable ball of Persian kitty fluff!! I wonder how many guys are going to steal this idea to propose to their ladies??

vdosvixen 6 hours ago 4 

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…Hopefully none. Dear, lord. Are these people joking?

Finally, a voice of reason stepped in, but it sparked an argument:

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What a faggot

LBtownMayor 3 days ago

@LBtownMayor You’re awfully defensive. Afraid your wife will see the commercial and start looking for a man who’s not afraid to show affection?

Xythis 2 days ago
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hahahaha. Mayor said it best. Seriously, Xythis? No. That man is the only person in touch with reality and not floating on an imaginary cloud of puffy pink cotton candy with fluffy purring kitties raining from the sky, farting glitter and cupcakes, who finds a creepy, horribly queer commercial really awkward and terrible instead of popping a woody over it and hoping that man asks you to marry him in the exact same fashion.
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This brought a tear to my eye. This was very moving.

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The Diary of Anne Frank was moving. The commercial about animal cruelty starring Sarah McLachlan’s song Angel was moving. This flamboyant cat food commercial was not, in any way, moving. It was creepy. Creepy and weird.

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I love this commercial it makes my heart melt I miss my cat who I had for 19 years, this cat makes me want to get another. I guess I will one day, I still feel like I would be betraying my cat who passed away.

BlackEnergyNews 6 days ago

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….Thanks for not only completely irrelevant information, but also your hilariously embarrassing feelings. Also, punctuation wouldn’t hurt.

Ugh. People. Cat people.

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If I were Tiger Woods, I would have just taken my billions of dollars, purchased a home in a remote area in the Caribbean, and disappeared from the world a long time ago. Why hasn’t he done this yet? He’s never going to get out of the horribly deep hole he has dug himself into. The cheating, the strippers, the poor golf game, the terrible, never-ending publicity—-there’s no way out, Woods. Hop on a plane, never to be seen again. It’s the only way.

Well, that’s enough about cats for one day (get it? Tiger is a cat, too. I’m terribly clever). I’m going to go to bed meow.

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“Becca, don’t take Taco Bell sauce packets seriously. I had one propose once. Thank God I didn’t go through with it.”

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Things that I have zero interest in whatsoever.

29 Jul

1. Kate Gosselin and her 45 kids.

  • Things I care more about than Kate Gosselin or her offspring:
  • Britney Spears’ favorite condiment
  • Laura Bush’s Zodiac sign
  • Denmark
  • Cardboard

2. Kate Gosselin’s book.


3. Kate Gosselin’s hair extensions.

4. Football.

5. Lost. I have never seen, nor do I plan on seeing, a single episode of the television series Lost.

6. Terrel Owens and Chad Ocho Cinco’s teammate compatibility. Can they coexist? Does William Shatner like Honeynut Cheerios? I don’t care.

7. World of Warcraft.

8. Farmville.

9. Justin Beiber.

10. Being friends with anyone whose profile picture is of a truck.

  • Things I would rather befriend than “Ford 4×4” boy:
  • a grizzly bear
  • an empty shoebox
  • Heidi Pratt (maybe not)

11. Lindsay Lohan’s delinquency.


12. Having a child.

  • Examples of things I would rather do than have a child:
  • eat fire
  • walk on fire
  • be on fire

13. Hearing Ke$ha’s Your Love Is My Drug one more time.

14. Getting my nipples pierced. I’m no masochist.

15. Owning a cat.


16. Dancing With The Stars. I feel as though it’s time for the United States to declare war with someone else again when the most breaking news on NBC is the latest ligament injury on Dancing With The Stars.

17. Allowing Tyra Banks to live a day longer.

  • Things I would rather see living than Tyra Banks:
  • Joseph Stalin
  • a centipede the size of a subway train
  • a tyrannosaurus rex

18. Jersey Shore.

  • Things I would rather watch than Jersey Shore:
  • The Catholic Channel
  • 35 consecutive hours of educational television
  • a bowl of mashed potatoes

19. Meeting Flava Flav.

2o. Learning about any more of Tiger Woods’ mistresses.

  • Things I could do with my time that are more important than learning about Tiger Woods’ sex partners:
  • poop
  • snip split ends off of my hair one by one with scissors
  • sleep

21. Glee

22. Country music

  • Sounds that are easier on my ears than country tunes:
  • screaming infants
  • freight trains
  • Ke$ha

23. Brad Pitt’s beard

24. The Bachelor

25. Hugh Hefner’s sex life. I don’t want to know.

26. Running a marathon

  • Things I would do before participating in a run this long:
  • Adopt a child with autism
  • Eat a whole pineapple
  • Challenge Chuck Norris in a duel

———-

“You guys wanna see a dead body?”