Tag Archives: photography

“You’re only as strong as the tables you dance on.”

1 Sep

What the f-ck does this mean? I just viewed a photo on Facebook of some drunk girls with “You’re only as strong as the tables you dance on (hearts/peace signs/other arbitrary symbols Picnik’ed across the top. This literally means nothing. It makes no sense of any kind. So…if I were to climb upon a weak table and do the macarena, I am a weakling? Looks like I had better find Arthur’s round table and bust a move to prove my strength.

m3, b3iN cUt3. ♥

^ Caption under some huge girl’s profile picture. Why.

It is a sad day in the world of social media.

Moving right along.

“2-in-1 conditioning shampoo” is bullshit. Hotels need to stop acting like putting a miniature bottle with two tablespoons of shampoo that supposedly simultaneously conditions your hair when you use it is going to fly. It’s not. Without 100% real, pure conditioner, my hair is a tangled, matted, impossible rat’s nest. If I shampooed my hair without following with conditioner and then attempted to comb through it, I would literally have to cut all of my hair off. Forcing a comb through the ratty mess would be like trying to force a cinder block down a bathtub drain. It would be like trying to comb a fork through a chain link fence. It wouldn’t happen.

I recently saw a commercial on television advertising Krazee Glue. It showed a man jumping off an enormous bridge with his bungee secured only with Krazee Glue. He survived, springing back into the air with a smile on his face. I’m ready to sue for false advertising. I recently tried to repair an earring with Krazee Glue, and it didn’t adhere the earring to the post for more than a few days before it fell apart again. And you’re trying to tell me that I can bungee jump off the Golden Gate Bridge secured with Krazee Glue and be just fine? Stop it. Super glue is good for gluing your fingers together by accident. That’s about it.

I woke up this morning to rumbling thunder and heavy rain. This continued until lunchtime when the skies cleared and the sun beamed down. A co-worker’s computer screen was open to the Weather Channel, and the hour-by-hour chance for precipitation said this:

1 pm – 10%

2 pm – 10%

3 pm – 100%

4 pm – 10%

5 pm – 10%

….How does the weather forecast go from a 10% chance of precipitation all the way up to a 100% chance, and directly back down to just a 10% chance in a single hour? Sure enough though, when 3 o’clock rolled around, thunder cracked overhead and it began to rain. Bizarre indeed.

WELL, time for me to go digest my wonton soup. Nom nom.

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“All I wish to do today is go metal detecting with you, followed by hardcore thrifting.

 

Haha….initially my phone auto corrected to ‘hardcore thrusting.’”