I wiped out and ripped my left ass cheek off of my body today at Beaver Creek. I was laid out for a good minute or two, immobilized by pain in my better half. I do not wish to repeat it. Speaking of asset body parts,
I need Ted Gibson from TLC’s What Not To Wear to do my hair. I will pay him one thousand dollars. He can have complete control. Do what you want, Ted! He is a magician. He can turn Medusa into Jennifer Aniston. He can walk on water, you guys. What are the odds I can arrange this to happen? I’m going to start researching on the world wide web immediately.
…it’s probably a lot more than a thousand dollars.
Am I the only one who has noticed that Lady GaGa stole her persona from Party Monster starring Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green (2003)? I mean…..drag, glamour, outrageous costumes (the meat dress?!), wild makeup—the tag word “monster” itself?
Watch it and try to tell me you disagree.
Sadly, Trent has left to go back to the depressing state of Pennsylvania for the next ten days. This leaves me in a greater state of boredom, as I won’t have my jobless snowboarding buddy to ride with on the daily. There is a lot of Netflix in my future. My television series diet is currently made up of the following:
1. Dogtown. Nothing gets me going more than canines.
2. Portlandia. I have already watched every episode twice. Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein REALLY get me going. If you haven’t watched this show yet, you should kill yourself.
3. Workaholics. Again, I have watched every episode more than once. I won’t stop.
4. Reno 911. Shenanigans.
Lots of shows. Call me Mrs. Couch Potato.
Won’t somebody purchase me an expensive, carpet raping vacuum cleaner? A Rainbow Vacuum? Maybe a Kirby? A Dyson Ball? I would also like a hand-held Shark vacuum for the stairs, bed, etc. I don’t think this is too much to ask. My birthday is in July. I’ll be waiting.
WELL, time to keep watching television. Keep it real.
“Did you bring weed? We’re gonna need a lot of weed.”
“Yeah, I got some.”
“Like, a pound?”