Locks of Love.

16 Feb

I wiped out and ripped my left ass cheek off of my body today at Beaver Creek. I was laid out for a good minute or two, immobilized by pain in my better half. I do not wish to repeat it. Speaking of asset body parts,

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I need Ted Gibson from TLC’s What Not To Wear to do my hair. I will pay him one thousand dollars. He can have complete control. Do what you want, Ted! He is a magician. He can turn Medusa into Jennifer Aniston. He can walk on water, you guys. What are the odds I can arrange this to happen? I’m going to start researching on the world wide web immediately.

…it’s probably a lot more than a thousand dollars.

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Am I the only one who has noticed that Lady GaGa stole her persona from Party Monster starring Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green (2003)?  I mean…..drag, glamour, outrageous costumes (the meat dress?!), wild makeup—the tag word “monster” itself?

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Watch it and try to tell me you disagree.

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Sadly, Trent has left to go back to the depressing state of Pennsylvania for the next ten days. This leaves me in a greater state of boredom, as I won’t have my jobless snowboarding buddy to ride with on the daily. There is a lot of Netflix in my future. My television series diet is currently made up of the following:

1.  Dogtown.  Nothing gets me going more than canines.

2.  Portlandia.  I have already watched every episode twice. Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein REALLY get me going. If you haven’t watched this show yet, you should kill yourself.

3.  Workaholics.  Again, I have watched every episode more than once. I won’t stop.

4.  Reno 911.  Shenanigans.

Lots of shows. Call me Mrs. Couch Potato.

Won’t somebody purchase me an expensive, carpet raping vacuum cleaner? A Rainbow Vacuum? Maybe a Kirby? A Dyson Ball?  I would also like a hand-held Shark vacuum for the stairs, bed, etc. I don’t think this is too much to ask. My birthday is in July. I’ll be waiting.

WELL, time to keep watching television. Keep it real.

_______________________________________________________

“Did you bring weed? We’re gonna need a lot of weed.”

“Yeah, I got some.”

“Like, a pound?”

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..

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6 Responses to “Locks of Love.”

  1. Andrea February 16, 2012 at 2:21 pm #

    Portlandia is pretty awesome!

  2. Bonnie Clinch (@bonbonthewonton) February 16, 2012 at 2:31 pm #

    “Put a bird on it!”

  3. Molly Burke February 16, 2012 at 3:22 pm #

    Girl whaaat, how much longer you going to be in CO for? I flying out there soon to do a bit of boarding. And you’re totally right about Lady Gaga/Culkin conspiracy, that bitch rips everyone off. You should get Culkin to sue her, then sue Culkin for taking your idea to sue her.

    • beccasheppard February 16, 2012 at 10:26 pm #

      I should be out here until just after Snowball Festival, so like the first week of March. When are you coming?

  4. Ann February 16, 2012 at 6:30 pm #

    Wow. Just wanted to agree with you about Party Monster. A total steal, mad I didn’t catch that myself. Guess that’s what you’re here for.

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