Be a winner, not a wiener.

24 Nov

I’m big on sending things via snail mail. There’s just something flamboyantly exciting about receiving an envelope with two dozen stickers on it, isn’t there? Letters, packages, cards. Anyway, inspired by another lass’s blog, I have decided to start doing random drawings of sorts for all of you readers out there. Basically I will be choosing a name at random every couple of weeks, and the lucky winner will receive some cool and personalized prize from me in the mail. Sometimes the prizes will be badass, and sometimes you’ll be pissed. That’s the glory of a surprise.

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THE QUALIFICATIONS!!!

In order for your name to be drawn, there are two requirements:

1) First, you must be subscribed to Sheppard’s Pie.
“Will SuBsCriBiNg mAke m3 gEt a BuncH of sPaM???  i h8 gEttiNg jUnK mAiL!!!111”   F-ck no. Being subscribed simply means you receive the post directly into your email when a new one is published.

2) Since there is no physical hat filled with shreds of paper with peoples’ names on it for me to pull a winner out of, I will be drawing names off of comments on posts.  In order for your name to be drawn, you must have commented on a post during that period of time in between drawings. Each time you comment, your name is put in the metaphorical “hat!” Pretty easy. 

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Bribes. Who doesn’t love them?

The prize for the first drawing will be a personalized CD or CDs of my favorite Christmas jingles. You’ll be rockin’ around the Christmas tree and craving figgy pudding like you wouldn’t believe once you fire these tunes up in the car. Watch out: lots of Christmas cheer inside. If you don’t like Christmas carols or you’re black and celebrate Kwanzaa, you’ll have to re-gift. Sorry. There may also be baked goods involved. WE’LL SEE!!! The drawing period starts now! If you haven’t subscribed, you can click “Subscribe” in the column on the right hand side of the home page. Then leave as many comments as you want to become eligible! Good luck, lads.

Other prizes to look forward to will include things like gift cards, DVDs, posters, trinkets, t-shirts, one hundred dollar bills (yeah right), all sorts of booty. They’ll be fun. FUN times.

WELL, enjoy your Thanksgiving feasts, kids. I’ll be doubling my body weight if you need me.

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“Thanks for all the birthday wishes, pretty damn good birthday, ran a 5k this morning too! Just kidding, I threw up in a sink.”
– Chris Diez 

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15 Responses to “Be a winner, not a wiener.”

  1. kccc5 November 24, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Whoo hoo…and even though I’m black…I like gifts…not a cob of corn! Besides I got re-gifted once with a present that my sister got for a cousin…who turned around and gave it to me in FRONT of my sister…um, hello…dumbass…anyway
    I want to win!
    Something. Anything. Pick me! Pick me!
    Happy Turkey Day 🙂

    • beccasheppard November 24, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

      Me: “She’s black?”

      hahaha.

    • beccasheppard November 24, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

      But seriously, I thought you were really tan and in a dim room in your profile pciture. I was wrong. Haha. ….Sorry. Happy Thanksgiving to you, my dear. I’m guzzling Welch’s Sparkling White Grape Juice. I’m burping the national anthem consequently.

  2. Chris Diez November 25, 2011 at 8:45 am #

    Honored to be the quote on this post haha. Hope you had a great second birthday. 😉

  3. Faux Negro November 25, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    Just because you’re black doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate Christmas. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!

  4. Bonnie November 28, 2011 at 9:14 am #

    You know when you find something funny when things are really quiet, so you do that silent laugh thing that makes you look like an idiot and only makes you laugh harder? That’s what happens to me when I read this blog. I’m usually sitting in a classroom of middle school students who are studying. Just thought you should know.

    Also, I really love free stuff. And Christmas. 🙂

  5. Bonnie November 28, 2011 at 9:14 am #

    … and Christmas CD’s.

  6. Bonnie November 28, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    And what on earth is that picture next to my name?

    • beccasheppard November 28, 2011 at 8:53 pm #

      Looks like a brownie on meth. I guess that’s the avatar WordPress found most suitable for you. Haha.

  7. Jessica Roxburgh November 28, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    im waiting for your next blog woman!!!

    • beccasheppard November 28, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

      I literally just pressed “publish!” Haha

  8. karen November 28, 2011 at 10:54 pm #

    I like gifts. So now everytime I read your blog I will have to think up something witty to respond with, and I just don’t have that kind of time. Oh who am I kidding, I have no job, don’t go to school, (at the moment) so I basically have oodles of time. I’m just lazy, and did I mention I like gifts?

  9. Samantha M. November 28, 2011 at 11:29 pm #

    At least your mother never gave you coal for Christmas. In a sock. Trust me, there’s no way to re-gift that. o_O

  10. missmkb November 30, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

    Is this Christmas CD really just a compilation of your own covers? Either way, I’m down.

    • beccasheppard November 30, 2011 at 9:22 pm #

      Haha! No. It’s a bunch of rockin’ Christmas jams, classics and so on. It will have you peeing your pants and wrapping yourself in wrapping paper.

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