The dog days aren’t over.

4 Sep

The temperature outside reads 93 degrees. The heat index because of the inconceivable amount of humidity (96%) is 109. ONE HUNDRED AND NINE DEGREES!

It is September 4th.

I was very close to actually dying today from the heat. I have never experienced such oppressive humidity before in my life. It was so bad. I could see it. It looked like fog settling in over the entire city for miles and miles. I was sweating hand grenades. I held my Droid up to my ear for a few minutes while I spoke on the phone, and my arm was literally dripping with sweat. I am now in my living room sitting on my couch with an ice pack on my lap, and my computer on top of the ice pack, because it is too FACKING hot even to have my computer on my skin.

Good one, Mother Nature. You got us. Now stop being a jackass and drop the temperature by about fifty degrees. I could not possibly be more antsy for fall weather. All I want to do is be comfortable and snuggly in hoodies and jeans and not sweat my ass completely off of my body while riding in my un-air-conditioned vehicle.

A girl recently requested my friendship on Facebook. I clicked on her name to browse her profile before deciding to accept or not. This was her current profile picture:

This was the one after that:

Can you guess what the rest were like? I’ll give you a hint: they made up the Jurassic Park cast.

Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

My phone keeps auto correcting to stupid things. For example, it sends “Baghdad” instead of “hahaha” on a regular basis. Someone says something funny, and I reply, “Baghdad.”  It doesn’t make any sense. Why would anyone ever talk about the Middle East more often than they would laugh? I guess unless you’re a POW. Then again, most POWs probably don’t have cell phone privileges, so we’re back to Point A.

Recently I ended one of my posts with a quote from a television show that I found humorous, which was “And that is why you don’t get your money’s worth when you wear jeans to a strip club.”  Shortly after, I discovered on my blog info that tells me what search terms lead people to my blog that somebody out there in the world Googled “Why don’t you get your money’s worth when you wear jeans to a strip club?”   Baghdad. Someone didn’t get it and wanted to find out.

WELL, time for me to sweat to death. Bye bye.


C:   “I’m drunk and watching Titanic in my bed.”

B:   “I am also watching Titanic. I am getting emotional. Such a sad love story. Leonardo just gets me.”

C:   “My emotions are knocking at the door, too. But when she blows that whistle, BOY is that uplifting. She really wants to go on, you know? Her heart wants to go on.”


2 Responses to “The dog days aren’t over.”

  1. Gobetween September 4, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

    I am in South Africa it is Spring time the best season of all. Our summers are also uncomfortable hot. Before you think I am weird for calling my blog Gobetween Flames it is everything to do with my job.

    Many people can’t stand “LOL” perhaps “Baghdad” will be more acceptable 😀

    • beccasheppard September 4, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

      Heat makes me reckless with rage. I cannot wait for winter to finally rear it’s frostbitten head. What are winters like in SA?

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