Once again, I’d like to give you all a peek into the wide, sometimes scary but always funny array of search terms that people out there search on Google to land them on my blog:
elephantiasis of the vagina
cucumber up arse
pies and weight loss
fattest ugliest girl ever
how do christina aguilera’s boobs stay in her dress on the voice
famous women with moles on there boobies
big fat man with small willy
old man falling off mountain
are teeth jewelry stupid
ugliest bitch on the planet
does having a baby ruin your vagina
fat f*ck sitting on someone
the fattest man in the world’s willy
ugly girl eating pie
fat willy and willy going into a vagina
ugly fat people that have poop on their face
how does the fattest man in the world put on pants
the fattest willy
short fat greasy people
sexy women with nice bums
girls peeing in stores on floor
the fattest person in the universe
When did the term “willy” become popular again?
Pies and weight loss. Those two terms are not even related.
How DOES the fattest man in the world put on pants?
Are teeth jewelry stupid: Yes.
Does having a baby ruin your vagina? Uh….would throwing up a watermelon ruin your mouth? I don’t care what they say about post-birth vaginas, I don’t buy it. Never the same.
How do Christina Aguilera’s boobs stay in her dress on The Voice? I wonder the same thing.
Someone out there is having a bit of a situation with a cucumber. Should I trace the ip address and find out who?
I need my hair done worse than Christina Aguilera needs her beach body back.
Seriously. It’s been many moons since I’ve had my highlights touched up. I’m a mess. I look like a poor trailer park girl. I’m one of those people that I make fun of. I need to see a stylist, stat.
You know what I love about Law & Order? It’s always on. Always. It doesn’t matter what time of day, day of the week, holidays, the Sabbath—it’s on. Law & Order is on like 4 different channels at all hours of the day in marathon-premiers. SVU gets me going. Sometimes I take hiatuses from Law & Order and forget how addicting it is. Then before you know it, I’m back to snorting Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay up my nose for three hours a day. This is me not complaining about it.
WELL, time to go.
“My dad lived in Japan for a year, that’s how I learned to speak Japanese. Moo-shu pork, Melissa!”