Phigure it out.

4 Jan

Seeing as I am the Xena: Warrior Princess at anything word-related, I was truly flabbergasted at this person’s sentence I just came across, as I could not even really figure out what it was she was trying to say:

Hahaha I KNEW ud put something up like that phsyke!!

…..”fizz-key?” Psycho? Psychic? Physics? Psyche? The context of the sentence isn’t even helping me. How do people feck things up so bad? Is there even an excuse for this sort of brain damage? I hope this person doesn’t have a driver’s license. Where are these people, who is letting them through our education system? If I were a teacher, I guess I would just push them through, too. It’s a futile effort to try to get someone with the IQ of a Swiffer Sweeper to understand language. I would pull all my hair out and use obscenities never heard before if I had to try to teach someone like that. Good thing I’m not a teacher. Or a parent.

Or stupid.

On a completely different person’s post, I just now found this:

im not phsycic. just italian.

I’m not sure which one is worse. I do think perhaps the latter is the worst, on account of I believe the sentence was meant to say, “I’m not Italian, just retarded.”

Let me help you out, guys.

Psychic.


Psyche.

 

Psych.


Physics.

I hate it when people take pictures of themselves and then add captions like, “Just me” or “I was bored lol.” Why? I know when I’m “bored” I just get really dolled up and then sit in the bathroom and take dozens upon dozens of pictures of myself just for the hell of it. Why don’t you come out and say, “In my vanity, I thought I was looking particularly smashing this evening, so I photographed it for everyone to see.” Or just don’t. We can all read between the lines.

Except apparently for phsyxicse up there. They’ve got special needs.

Good grief.

Why does Mediafire want me to watch China on TV so badly? I don’t have any interest in this. If it knew anything about my social profile it would know that I am not a fan of Asians. Just their rice. Boy do I love their rice. Facebook has its advertising nailed down to a T. I get ads for drug rehab and weight-loss boot camps constantly. At least Facebook pretends to know who I am.

I just got a shard of wicker chair jabbed into my foot. It hurt. Also, I am a Leo, and I am more of a dog person. I am 5’4.5″ and my favorite colors are plum and turquoise, preferably paired together.

Well, I need to figure out how to thicken up chowder. Not my area of expertise. I heard a rumor about flour though. We’ll see how it pans out.

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“Dear Nickelback, that’s enough. Sincerely, the world.” -Kylie Henderson

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