Take 5.

12 Dec

My five month snowboarding sabbatical has finally begun, ladies and gents. Can you believe it? I have arrived and settled into Edwards, Colorado until approximately May. I am going to be shredding like Johnny Tsunami on the Disney Channel day in and day out. Except today that is. You see, I went from doing zero physical activity of any kind since last February (10 months ago), to riding hard, 5 hours a day for 4 consecutive days in a row. My legs are on strike. My quads are nothing but oatmeal. Go ahead and serve my carcass up in little dishes at the hospital, because my muscles are now made of pure lime Jell-o. I had no choice but to rest my fatigued limbs today, so I will be doing nothing but laying around like a bum all afternoon.

Five months. That’s a long time. I figure I can go semi-pro in that amount of time. I mean, I got a helmet this year after all. That means I’m invincible.

I’ll have broken both wrists by New Years.

I guess the good news is that I’m going to have a body like a battle ax if I keep this routine up. That’s positive. I hope I don’t end up in a wheel chair though.

I’m listening to Australian hip hop/rap. Not on purpose. Pandora is apparently playing a prank on me. I didn’t know Australians did this. I thought they played….with kangaroos.

My dog electrocuted himself on Friday. This is not a joke. A neighbor of ours warned us of these five psychotic, violent, angry Malamutes that lived around the corner from us, mentioning that they were known to attack passersby, both humans and other dogs, and that they were not always chained up, so to beware.

Friday afternoon, Trent is unloading things from the truck, and Raleigh innocently wanders around the corner out of sight. Seconds later, a high pitched, pathetic “YELP!” is heard, and Raleigh comes scampering around the corner with his tail between his legs as the  CuJo dogs sound the alarm with their ferocious barking. At first it was assumed that Raleigh had a bad run-in with the death dogs, but closer investigation of his face revealed that he had actually touched his face to the electric fence that restrains the angry beasts. His nose has three burn lines across it. Poor bastard. At least I don’t have to worry about him going over there anymore I guess.

Well, earlier today I had like 12 things to write about, but I forgot all of them. So I guess I’ll fill you in later. Peace, skanks.

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“I didn’t realize it was Felony or Treat!”

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