Boston Tea Party.

19 Oct

I keep buying shitty teas. These tea manufacturers get all creative and artsy and appeal to my senses with their packaging, then I bring home a flavor that I anticipate to be delightful, and instead wind up drinking what tastes like poorly seasoned toilet water. My latest waste of money was a Stash brand flavor called “vanilla nut creme.” How can something named vanilla nut creme NOT be fantastic? Well, it was. I also have at least 15 bags of Bigelow vanilla chai. Again, chai + vanilla can only equal superior flavor and satisfaction. Wrong again. I’m so pissed. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THIS TEAAAA?

I went to Target and purchased a fruit variety box. Out of the five featured flavors, the odds of them ALL being terrible are slim to none. Better safe than sorry.

I am becoming very antsy in anticipation of the holiday season. Something innate in me is stirring me to bake, decorate, write cards, burn candles, order Starbucks, play Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and check the weather forecast for dipping temperatures. I’m squirmy. I can’t wait. I want to be slurping gravy with a spoon, stuffing myself with sweet potatoes and turkey, and smelling strawberry pie baking in the oven. I want to don my mittens, wear my goose down winter coat, crank the heat in my car, scrape my windshield, and shovel the driveway.

Kidding about shoveling the driveway. Someone who owns and operates a snowblower can do that.

I want to host a Christmas party this year. We’ll all wear woolen sweaters, chug eggnog by the gallon around the fireplace, eat baked goods, sing Christmas carols loud and proud, and be jolly.

I don’t have a house.

The stupid dogs in my neighborhood are teaching my dog to bark at nothing. I’m getting really aggravated. There is a small dog barking literally nonstop outside right now. Just BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK-ing. It’s not even breathing. Just barking. I’m going to go spray it with a garden hose. My dog is getting all riled up. Why don’t people beat their pets/children when they make unnecessary vocalizations like this? It just isn’t acceptable behavior as far as I’m concerned. What if I were napping? What if I were on an important business call? What if I were allergic to noise? People have no consideration for others these days.

Well, I’m off to dream about the approaching holiday season. I can’t wait. Bye now.

________________________________________________________

“I just asked Matty how much weed he put in the brownies. ‘Handfuls’ was his response.”

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One Response to “Boston Tea Party.”

  1. Hannah October 20, 2010 at 1:04 am #

    If you DO have a party I want to come.

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