It happens.

18 Jul

It’s Sunday, meaning it’s our “cheat day” to eat whatever our tastebuds so choose. Trent and I treated ourselves to an epic meal of Mexican food at Rancho Grande followed by Dairy Queen’s new Strawberry & Golden Oreo Blizzard afterward. If you haven’t tried this delectable treat out yet, you are missing out big time. Not having had this ice cream concoction yet is like never having heard of Christmas. Scamper out to your vehicles and hit up the drive-thru, everyone.

Needless to say, I clog the toilet in my apartment today, and unfortunately, am without a plunger. I have to go to the store and get one; it’s an emergency. So I go to Rite Aid. It closes literally 30 seconds before I get there, and the doors are locked.

“Blast!” I shout.

I run across the street to the grocery store. I am perusing the aisles, but cannot find a plunger. I flag down an employee and ask her if they have plungers. She doesn’t know, she says, because she is new.

She yells for another employee, “DO WE HAVE PLUNGERS??”

He looks at me smugly, smirks, and says, “…Aisle 7…if we have them.”

I go to aisle 7, and find my plunger. I scan the registers to look for the least likely person to pass judgement, you know, an old woman, old ass man, nerdy kid, etc. My only choice is a geeky looking 17 year old with zits. I choose him.

I walk up with my purchase. He looks at it, looks at me, suppresses a snort, and says, “Plunger, huh? Haven’t had anyone buy one of those here before.”

At this point, normally I would add in some quippy comical commentary so it’s not just like an, “I just clogged my toilet, that’s why I need this plunger” type of ordeal. But, there’s nothing to say. I mean, I was buying a plunger. There’s no camouflaging it. He scans me through, smirking all the while. I’m embarrassed. I leave.

The end.

——

“Pigpen, next time I need advice on a good Planet of the Apes film, or how to get the resin out of my bong, I’ll come to you. But I will not be taking romantic advice from someone who cannot spell romantic OR advice.        Or bong.”

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