Suicide.

8 Jul

I awoke this morning and scampered on over to my 2-unit fish tank that contains my two betta fish, Predator and Prey, to feed them their breakfast first thing in the morning as I always do. I glanced down into the tank. Prey was swimming around like normal, but immediately my stomach lurched. Predator was missing.

“OH NO!” I yelled, and started hurriedly scanning the surrounding countertop, trying to find him. I leaned over the counter and saw his dried, shriveled body on the living room carpet. He had leapt out of his tank and killed himself on the floor.

“Noooooo!!!!” I ran around the counter and scooped up his dry, lint-covered body. His fins were hardened and plastered to his tiny little body, his eyes fogged over and white. He was dead.

But then, I swore that he had twitched. “I think he’s still alive!” I exclaimed to Trent.

“That fish is not alive, babe. It was probably just a reflex.”

I refused to believe it, and tossed him back into his tank. He sank to the bottom and didn’t move. I was disheartened. I had to remove him from the tank, so I got a slotted spoon and dipped it in to scoop him off the bottom of the bowl. That’s when he jolted back and forth.

“See! I told you he was alive!”

Predator started twisting his body back and forth, attempting to make a comeback. The only problem was that his fins were dried up and hardened to his body, so he couldn’t swim. I scooped him up and started feathering his fins with my fingertips, and slowly but surely he was almost fully revived.

The only problem is that now his eyeballs are ruined, and he is definitely blind. He can’t see his food to eat it, so he’s likely to starve to death. I’m sad. We’ll see how this pans out.

Fish attempting suicide. I mean, I get it. A fish’s life sucks. All they get to do is tread water in their little 4×5 inch bowl of water with absolutely no stimulation of any kind, 24 hours a day, every day of their sad, boring lives. Had I known Predator was feeling so low, I would have left the radio on for him or something when I left for work every morning. We’re pulling for you, buddy. Just keep swimming.

“If I could find this ROAD, it’s like, ‘Bob’s Road.'”

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3 Responses to “Suicide.”

  1. Z Yakel July 8, 2010 at 6:02 pm #

    Ahahaha! Both the serious title and excellent ‘Twister’ reference sandwiched this awesome post!

  2. beccasheppard July 8, 2010 at 9:03 pm #

    I am so glad you are able to identify and appreciate a good Twister quote. Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt plus the extreme forces of nature? It’s the best.

  3. couchr July 9, 2010 at 11:34 am #

    This cracked me up! You definitely have a talent for writing. Great post!

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