Coincidence? I think not.

28 Feb

I just came across something very, very peculiar. While saving all my past eight billion notes, I came across one and noticed something crazy:

Human Bombology

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 at 4:05pm

Well, I just returned back from truly bombing my human biology test. It started out alright, in fact I was optimistic until about the 2nd half when I came upon the chapters I apparently hadn’t so much as glanced at, which became increasingly clear as the test went on. So that got a bit squirrely, and I started spelling my name down the columns. Apparently some chick spelled “BECCA” the entire way down a test she hadn’t studied for before and got a B+. If she can do it, why can’t I.

Anyway, the other night while I was extremely intoxicated, I apparently roamed downstairs to the Mayflower Market and purchased a can of spaghetti; not sure why, but I found it in the refrigerator the next day. Baffling. I might eat it here soon. We’ll see how adventurous I’m feeling.

Earlier today while I was on the bus, a very overweight Asian man who I am compelled to believe was honestly semi-retarded (can retards attend college? I don’t know the rules these days) stomped his way over and literally sat on my left leg. My eyes grew disturbingly wide as I stared straight ahead and slowly squirmed my way as far to the right as I possibly could without violating the man to my right. Then Fat China turned his head and just stared at me. I was growing increasingly uncomfortable, but just kept pretending to be REALLY into my iPod and staring straight ahead while my fellow Mayflowerite Mark witnessed my discomfort. Big Asia turned, and then abruptly looked back and stared, again, directly at my head. This time I glanced at him, because I thought he had said something. I go, “What?” and he responded in a startled/retarded manner, “What?!” I’m like, “I thought you–” then I just stopped and continued to burn holes in the opposite side of the bus with my intense stare. It was so awkward. I feel violated.

UPDATE: I experimented with the canned spaghetti: worst decision I’ve ever made. It made a guest appearance in the trash can, and in time will make another in the toilet.

P.S. Jason and I are finally getting hitched. Mraz, that is. If I like you and you’re not over 250 lbs., you’re invited to my wedding on June 12th.

Alright. Read the last sentence. My “wedding on June 12th.” I wrote this three years ago, March of 2007, and that is my exact wedding date now. I am genuinely astounded. Haha! Hmm….some things are meant to be! Of course I’m not marrying Jason Mraz, but, I think I got a better deal. 🙂 The stars are seriously aligning in my life. What’s next?


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