AHHHHH, take a deep breath of that crisp autumn air, ladies and gentlemen. Fall has arrived. Few seasons, save winter, bring me as much pleasure as fall. Busting out the hoodies and jeans, finding reasons to get chai tea lattes from every coffee shop nearby, watching the foilage turn fiery colors–it’s a delight, a pure delight. Another festive attribute to autumn and Halloween is the showy display of pumpkins, which brings me to my next point. Jack-o-lanterns are an art that only freaks of nature can whittle. Every time I carve a pumpkin in a group, Picasso next to me turns his pumpkin into a witch wearing Prada and sipping an iced latte on the moon, and my pumpkin is looking like Quasimoto, all squishy, uneven, and depressed. I don’t get it. Stop cheating and go at the old gourd with a steak knife like the rest of us, Mr. Connect-The-Dots.
I’m not sure what to think about Owl City. They’ve got such delightful tunes and catchy songs, but their lyrics are so, SO, flamboyant. Fireflies? Panda bears? Hot air balloons? I feel like I’m a Carebear on an acid trip when I listen to their addicting music, but I can’t help but to feel ecstasy and happiness when they pop up on my playlist. If I listen to it too often, I fear I’ll throw up four leafed clovers, glitter, and sprinkles. Should I be embarrassed? I just don’t understand.
Today will be spent cleaning, gutting out, and organizing my apartment. It will be a daunting and time consuming task, but it has to be done. I need to get in the proper “zone” to clean, though. Why? If I don’t, I go through junk I didn’t even know I still had and find stupid reasons not to throw it away. That’s when I need help. Or, I need to be belligerently drunk so I can be careless. I have so many different hair products, and I only use like three of them. Do I throw full bottles of hair spray and curling mousse away? Does anyone want them? Haha. Ohh. Help me.
That’s all for now, folks. I have a refrigerator full of creepy crawlies that needs tending to. Wish me luck.
“I BET HE WON’T BE SMILING WHEN I MURDER HIM!!! …..AND I AM GENUINELY SORRY ABOUT THAT WINDOW!”