One of these bikes is not like the other.
I am constantly reminded that my city is filled with freaks of nature. We can all recall my nightmarish accounts of “odd” company in the IMU and around campus, but it’s just never ending.
A shopping cart. Really? It’s even chained to the bike rack. I’m compelled to stick around all day long just to find out whose cart it really is. Going up hills must really be a chore; coming down them must be even worse. I wonder what the “rules of the road” are concerning shopping carts. I’m more curious how many miles per hour you can achieve on that hog though. Someone try it and let me know, granted you’re still alive. Watch out for those intersections, Lance.
On a similar note, take a look at this beast I passed on my way home last week.
Biggest dog I have ever laid eyes on. I want to slap a saddle on that dog and ride it like a pony. This canine is big enough to have its own zip code and pay taxes. I got the privilege of meeting this grizzly bear, as I have a habit of attacking dog owners and their pets to coo and molest them in all their furry glory. Its name is “Woof” and he is six thousand pounds. Slobby little fella. By little I mean monumental. They probably have to use a garden hose as a collar, and don’t get me started on what they must feed it. Live pigs. Full grown turkeys. Children. Asians. That’s a living, breathing garbage disposal there.
When I feel like all the good people are gone from the world, I see something that gives me hope:
hahah. I can only hope it really says it. Ki Kappa Kwhitesupremacy. It’s that one sorority over by Alpha Bi Sexual. Remember?
I am constantly taking secret pictures of people around me in public. These people normally have to fit certain criteria to be sneakily photographed. They have to either be physically handicapped, heinously ugly, mentally retarded, morbidly obese, extremely Asian, watching Anime, have a mullet, or be a complete freak. Sometimes I get lucky and find combinations. Those are the good days. So far I haven’t been caught, but when happens when I am?
Actually I don’t care. Dismiss that thought.
WAAAAAIL, I’m off to class. I shouldn’t bother going, since all I do in this lecture is write my name in creative artistic letters hundreds and hundreds of times. I’m really going places.
“I wouldn’t mind getting real wasted and beating your ass.”