Making a stink.

5 Feb

People hate me right now. I just came straight from the gym without showering or even changing my sweaty clothes to the computer lab in Philips Hall to type up a paper real quick-like for my theater meeting this afternoon. I am surrounded by peers to my left, right, and rear, and they have no choice but to suck in the succulent odor of my perspirating carcass. They’ll be okay.

Except for the girl who passed out on her keyboard. She’s questionable.

Spring break starts for me after this evening. Technically I finished my midterms yesterday at 3:30, but I have a pointless “meeting” for Art of Theater at 4:45, and then I have to attend what is presumably THE most boring theatrical performance to ever hit the stage, titled “The Piano Lesson.” Already a bad start. I was going to drink and then go (by myself), but now I think I’ll just secretly play Scrabble on my phone for the endurance of the play, or catch up on my sleep, as I had the worst sleepless night in history last night.

I have big plans for the next week. Tomorrow morning I’ll be calling up Triple A to come jump-start my car which has been dormant since January 15th. Then I’ll have to drive around aimlessly for a good thirty minutes so that my battery charges enough for it to start again. After driving around like a lost Asian, I plan on hitting up Biolife to sell my plasma and score 40 bucks. Immediately following making bank, I’ll be heading to Ames. And then to Council Bluffs hours later. And then back to Ames the next day.

I believe we are participating in yet another group Edward Forty Hands on Saturday eve. I can’t wait. It’s great when the entire group is participating: no one can pee because nobody can help each other. Ha. It’ll be a disaster, as predicted.

ANYwho, Sunday I’ll hike it back to Council Bluffs for break. I’m going to apply to a bunch of restaurants for a summer job so I can stop stealing so much. Unfortunately I’ll be working Taco John’s like a prostitute on 96th and Fort a couple of those days to roll in some dough which I desperately need. My biggest plan for the week, however, is to build some pigment in my skin by tanning. Oh yes, that’s my biggest ambition.

I need to do work. F. Someone pack for me. I desperately need help.

“I wonder if she has a butthole. OH MY GOD SHE DOES!”

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