Taking a dip.

4 Feb

I am pleased to discover that Facebook has altered the status formation by removing the word “is.” This really opens up possibilities in the verb and adjective department. I am no longer limited to telling you what it is that I am doing by predetermined sentence structure. Aha. Good thinking, FB. You’re always on my side.

..Except for when you try to throw me into an epileptic seizure with your ridiculous application conundrum.

And when you let creeps with Chevy’s as their default picture stalk the shit out of me.

There’s a down side to everything.

WELL, I have an entire book to read here. Then a paper to write. Things are going surprisingly well despite the twenty-minute Facebook breaks I take every five minutes. Maybe I won’t fail out of school after all. Who knows.

My child Alan is getting neutered in January. Poor little man. Losing his twig and berries; losing his manhood. I don’t think he knows he HAS manhood, however. I mean the dog eats his own shit. Regardless I don’t like being responsible for emasculating a living creature. Except Michael Jackson. Then again, he did it to himself.

Apparently there is a car in the Iowa River in front of Mayflower right now. I have been told that there are firetrucks, ambulances, cops, and divers on the scene. Very interesting. People need to stop driving in the river. The speed limit is the same. You aren’t getting there any faster. Hopefully this person was horribly inebriated, for two reasons: 1) There is no excuse to wind up in the river in your Ford unless you have just downed a 30 of Keystone, and 2) It’ll numb the embarrassment for the time being.

Anyway, I’m going to do my homework. Boo.

“Yeah, it’s cheaper the more people you have.”
“Not really…”
“What?”
“I mean if you have more people, the rent is less…”
“…..Right….”

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