I’ve Got The Blues.

4 Feb

My relationship with blueberry-related paraphernilia is flourishing, as expected. Just the other day I purchased 6 blueberry yogurts, a jar of blueberry jelly, and a bag of frozen blueberries. These things considered, I am danger of “turning into a blueberry,” as they say.

I don’t know why people are so concerned about global warming. So the earth’s overall temperature has increased 1 degree every 600 years for the last several milleniums: who cares. You can’t blame humans for global warming, because it caused the end of the Ice Age, and last time I checked, humanity wasn’t invited to the party yet. Blaming humans for global warming is like blaming Ronald McDonald for your morbid obesity.

People need to stop being Mormon. There’s a way to have multiple sexual partners without being a social degenerate. Hugh Hefner’s been doing it for years; get with the program.

With one final left to go (Thursday at noon), today was to be spent studying balls to the wall style, getting my shit together so I don’t fail. To start off on the right foot, I got out of bed at daybreak: 1:00 p.m. After doing a load of laundry and making myself a gourmet breakfast, I sat down to the computer and puttered around on Facebook for a solid hour. Shortly thereafter, I became inspired to begin writing a book. So I did that. This will be a fun little project, I’ve decided. It’s going to be a book about things people need to stop doing, titled “Breaking The Habit” or something of the sort. It’s going to be marvelous; the idiot’s guide to not being a faggot. Fagasses worldwide will become more tolerable and less annoying because of it, assuming they can read.

…well that foils my plan.

ANYway, I’m off to get some sleep. Tomorrow: study. Thursday: take (“wing”) test. Drink a lot.

SEE YOU THEN.

“I bet people come up to the counter and wonder why I’m so mean to you. Then after a couple of minutes they’re like, ‘Oh, she’s retarded.'”

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