Happy Authentic Holidays.

4 Feb
WELL KIDS, it’s been a few hours. Six, at least. I survived my survey of film final, practically dominating it like a German in a synagogue until the very last question, which conveniently for me was worth 20% of the entire test. The art of bullshitting could not have been more appreciated at that point. Regardless, I was so elated to be finished with all things school that my possible failure didn’t phase me in the slightest. I lit out of that building with an excitement greater than that of a child on Christmas morning.

Speaking of which, black people made up Kwanzaa. It’s not real. Stop pretending Kwanzaa is real.

Last night was a drunken festival at Jake’s homestead. We boozed to the best of our ability and then some. My boss called me mid-drink.

My boss: “Hey–are you at a party?”
Me: “Yeeeeah.”
My boss: “Ah. Is there underage drinking?”
Me: “Obviously.”
My boss: “Good, good. You’re not going to be able to work tomorrow then, are you.”
Me: “Sure I can–by 4. I can’t promise I’ll be completely sober.”
My boss: “Awesome; just call me in the morning then.”

The next morning:
Me: “Hi Craig.”
My boss: “What’s wrong, can you not find your pants?”

haha. Oh Craig.

I got my ass kicked toward the end of the evening which resulted in a baker’s dozen mystery bruises today. I am tender. My body is blue. I’m not even mad. On our way home this morning, we stopped at a gas station to fill up the ol’ Subaru (“dykemobile”) with gas; Richard went inside for an Aquafina. Moments later, he returns to the car with a donut, a green tea, and a package of animal balloons with pump included. What a freak of nature.

Break is going to be great. I love old school crew, and we’re doing it big, let me tell you. Let’s party, girls. Put your drinking tights on. OHHH I have so many things to look forward to. Christmas, Steamboat, Judith’s wedding, Katie’s birthday–WHEW! I might start sweating out of anticipation.

Anywho, I would type a heck of a lot more but this keyboard sucks app, and typing is becoming very frustrating. Ta ta for now, chinks.

“Trust me; once you’ve been NOT raped twice, the Police Tech Rape Shield 2008 will have paid for itself.”

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