Greetings earthlings. I used to know a song when I was little on a Smurfs cassette that I had that went, “My, name, is, Puuurple, Peeeeter, from Mars–they don’t come sweeeeeter, I’ve come to see what’s going on on Earth; My, name, is, Puuuurple, Peeeeter, no fear–I’m no Smurf eeaaaater, I’ve come to see what’s going on on Earth: (lots of weird alien noises).” It was a good song.
I just returned home from Holstein, Iowa were our sweet ass cell-mate from prison Kelli Beyer lives. Yes, Kehly, Kayla, Midge and I went on a two night/day excursion. The town is about the size of a football field including a sketchy grocery store no larger than a garage, a 2-in-1 gas station/movie rental place, multiple farms, and lots of cow-patterned things like ATMs, plant pots, walls, you get the idea. If cow print were camouflage, you wouldn’t see the town. It was a pretty good time, however. We played a lot of board games, including, but not [I just violently sneezed all over my left arm. There’s a lot of snot and spit. Gross] limited to: Sweet Valley High (from the 80s; Represent, Ma), Trivial Pursuit (that game is damn near impossible) and a bunch of card games where the main objective was to make me lose and look stupid.
It was fun.
“FIVE!!!! …you have terets.”