Watch out, Ashton.

3 Feb

I have to pee incredibly badly right now, but I’m in the ITC “studying” and I’d rather not go through the hassle of walking across the lobby to the bathroom, and then having to walk back and fumble with my keys to get back in. It’s too much effort and activity. I’ve done too much today, and I’m beat.

Actually I got up at 1:28 p.m., ate a snack, checked my facebook, and then went back to bed until 5:00 p.m.

I’m a fat.

Speaking of which, I seriously need to get on the job-train. I think I’m going to apply at a candy store this week. Insert fat joke here. Actually, this week I should make ten or fifteen dollars taking a survey for psychological research. It stuns me that you can make money filling in bubbles, but I support the idea 100%.

I have a skull splitting headache right now. It’s really getting to me. My cerebellum is about to explode. I need some pain killers ASAP, STAT. It doesn’t help that a herd of four obnoxiously loud girls just entered the ITC and started babbling at a decibel that could shatter glass. I’m about to lay the smack down. Watch out, hoes.

I watched The Guardian the other night. A) It was a fantastic movie, and B) Ashton Kutcher is hotter than the pit of hell itself. I want to attack him sexually. He would be bleeding after I was through with him. Hopefully no restraining orders are made after this confession, but I wouldn’t blame him.

…Call me.

..By the way, this picture came up when I searched “Ashton Kutcher:”

Real different.

I’ve noticed a phenomena that you will probably experience at least once by the end of the week. Whenever someone has a bottle and they can’t get the cap off, EVERYONE in the room thinks that THEY specifically are the ONE person with the strength to get it open. Suddenly every single person in the room wants NOTHING more than to attempt to get the cap off themselves. After finally getting an opportunity, their enthusiasm quickly diminishes after a few seconds of twisting forcefully, and they’re just like, “Oh…wow, that really is on there.” Then they give up, quick as that.

That’s all. That’s it, I’m peeing.

…in the computer chair.

“What about sex? Sorry, I had my finger in my ear.”

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