The Pomerantz Center smells.

3 Feb
On an average of every two weeks, I have to take an exam for chemistry, which by the way sucks and I don’t know what possessed me to take it. I’m going to write editorials for a living; I don’t need to know how to draw a methane molecule for that, and unless I do, I must have missed that memo.

Anyway, I’m always in the Pomerantz Center for my exams, and I can’t help but notice a distinct and pungent odor every time I approach the building. The first time I was walking along the sidewalk, I smelled what seemed to be an onion/pickle combination. Odd. I turned the corner to the main doors only to happen upon a large “puddle” of onions and pickles. ….Whyyy. Anyway, it happened the second time, and then yesterday when I took my third exam. It smells like rotting compost and fast food. I think Ronald McDonald is living in the bushes near the building and periodically jumps out to throw up on the side walk. Quit it, Ronald.

The majority of girls seem to believe that Halloween is an excuse to be a dirty slut. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I was raised to believe that Halloween was a holiday where young children dressed up as witches, ghosts, and Power Rangers and engaged in an activity called..oh what was it..I believe it was..”trick-or-treating,” and people gave them candy. If you want to be a filthy skank, more power to you: I’m going to dress as Santa Clause or an inflatable bull-rider. This is America. What really chaps my ass is when people wear a bra and panties and draw whiskers on their face, and claim that they’re a cat. No, you are not a cat. I’m pretty sure a costume is composed of multiple props and articles of clothing. Wearing a tail does not make you a mouse. A tail is not a costume–it is a tail. You’re a fag.

I’m currently craving Dr. Pepper. I’m going to drink so much Dr. Pepper right now that I suffer from a Dr. Pepper hangover.

I can’t wait.

Go Cubs.


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