Survival of the Fittest.

3 Feb

Well fags, I successfully survived tax free weekgay at the MOB. Thank the lord. I was honestly concerned for my own well-being and that of my fellow coworkers. I could have flipped at any moment. There would have been tables, nacho cheese buckets, babies, blood and snot everywhere, and I would have had lawsuits up to my eyeballs. Instead, I threatened everyone I saw that there would be tables, nacho cheese buckets, babies, blood and snot everywhere, and thus have lawsuits up to my eyeballs. Funny how things work out.

On a lighter, more positive note, tomorrow will be my last day of work at Taco John’s until fall break. I am very thrilled about this. That means I have Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday to bum around and get shiv done (a.k.a. drink abundances of alcohol con mis amigos) before making the glorious trek back to the city of Iowa. I could not be more excited. I’m peeing just thinking about it. I do have quite the list of things to do before Saturday comes, however. Lots of odds and ends to take care of, things to purchase, that whole shindig. I also need boxes I just realized…a plethora of boxes. hmm… I’ll hold UPS at gun point.

There seems to be a new “fad” of sorts raping late night television. Telephone dating, or “flirting” as they say. You know, “Live Links” and “Text 2 Flirt” and all that other nonsense. Are these people serious? Yes, I’m sure that there are hundreds of smoking hot women sitting in hot tubs wearing revealing lingerie that are just dying to speak and even “flirt” with the 310 pound douche with acne from Best Buy who makes a living loading TVs and is slowly killing himself via Kentucky Fried Chicken when they can go out and actually HAVE sex and contract all the gonorrhea they want in real life. What really gets me is the text flirting. Dear lord. If you’re that lonely, log onto AOL instant messenger and talk to an AIM bot. For pete’s sake. I’m sure Moviefone or ShoppingBuddy can offer the same level of intellect and turn you on just as much for half the price. Freakaleeks.

ANYwho, two notes in two days is more than I can handle, so I’m departing. Adios amig-hoes. Ha. k.

“WOMEN. Squiggly face.”

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