Stayin alive, stayin alive.

3 Feb

Before I viewed the public’s commentary concerning my last work of art, I was going to start this follow-up note by mapping out a make-shift will, writing my own eulogy because no one else would have, and then advising you all to pull out your most conservative black suit, because I was bound to be sniped outside my home by an oppressed Cantonese man. Not so!

I can honestly say that I am genuinely surprised by the positive feedback I have received thus far on the very racial, very derogatory, line-crossing material supplied by yours truly in my previous note. I feared that it would spark a cultural revolt, fueled by horribly offended immigrants armed with Facebook group petitions and Native Americans with fiery tiki torches. There’s only one explanation:

Only English-speaking individuals could read it. Apparently I’m in the clear.

(Knock on wood).

Ha. Oh the circles I travel in.

Anyway, I almost got nailed in the face by a bat on my way home, and I don’t mean by a disgruntled Asian with a Louisville Slugger. I mean a full on flying rat with the ability to suck blood; the emblem of Halloween festivities. I was admiring them from afar, observing them swooping about, catching moths and flies that were fluttering about the street lamps, when a rogue bat comes flying with unmeasurable speed toward my precious face. I yelped, ducked, and then looked around to make sure no one saw me, because I would have been embarrassed.

That’s it for that story.
I was convinced I was allergic to the Crayola crayon color “jungle green” when I was young because I felt nauseous and ill everytime I colored with it. Then I realized that I felt nauseous and ill everytime I colored with it because it was the only crayon I ever had in the car, and I became carsick while coloring. It’s fun to connect the dots. Kids love games.

I’m off to attempt homework. More than likely it will disinterest me and I’ll write ANOTHER note. I don’t hear any complaints.

Me: “I’m thinking about donating plasma.”
Cole: “You should. Although they don’t let you do it if you have AIDS though, or if you’ve had sex with someone from Africa.”

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