See Spot Drink.

3 Feb

I am ill as F, ambiguously cool and unhealthy. My health is declining. Rapidly. Every morning I awake to a worsened state of being. Last night consisted of me struggling to breathe, and only being able to take shallow, painful breaths. I am congested as F, my nose is constantly running, my throat is a fiery blaze, my face is still swollen as a chubby, and I feel all around miserable. Not happy.

Meanwhile, a member of my “fan base,” Jordan Gillespie, recently informed me that I should use my creative writing skills to produce children’s books, and also add in my illustrative work that I include from time to time. I pondered it for a moment, and realized that producing children’s material would be a jackpot idea, except that I would have to eliminate the booze, drugs, profanity, nudity, obscenities, and racial slurs, which would basically leave me with conjunctions and the word “I.” Not a lot to work with.

On to Plan B.

Happy Labor Day, kiddies. I’m sure you’re all celebrating. I don’t even know what Labor Day really entails to be honest, but I know I don’t have to go to class, and that’s enough to make anyone spread confetti and crack open a beer or ten. Unfortunately my day will be spent reading heaps of homework, assembling my new computer speakers which probably suck, listening to my 3 hour instructional video for Cold Stone Creamery, and hitting up ICF, also known as Iowa City Fitness for the average sedentary individual.

P.S. I got up at 2:44 p.m. today, and I facking needed it. I have probably had a total of somewhere south of 10 hours of sleep the entire weekend, and my body took the toll. Now I’ve wasted half my day in my nest. Good thing I don’t care.

Time to do work.

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