R.I.P.

3 Feb

Welp, Kehly perished over Thanksgiving break, everyone. She made it through the trifling four hour trip home, but apparently the change in water was just too hard on her fragile scaly body. I was heart broken. Poor thing.

Meanwhile, I returned home and purchased 3 more sparkling gilled friends. We got two black goldfish named Jigaboo Stew and Barabas, and then an orange one named Squanto. We called him “Squant” for short, even though it’s just by one letter.

Jigaboo Stew died the next day.

Barabas died the next day.

….Squanto died the day after that.

Apparently there’s a life-threatening epidemic in the water. Nobody’s safe anymore.

I guess I’ll have to invest in a hardier animal…like a porcupine.

….I’ll name him Allen.

Wow, I just looked up some sweet pictures of porcupines. I came upon a picture titled “porcupine babies.”

On first impression, I thought, MY how cute those are! Then I imagined their needle covered bodies exiting my birthing canal.

No fucking way.

“WHAT am I s’posed to do without mah SAAAAAIL phone?!”

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