I did it. I brought myself to visit the Main Library. It was a frightening trip; one I felt unprepared for. I was venturing into unchartered and unfamiliar territory, you see. Anyway, after asking the minions that worked the front desk about how to get around the monumental building, I located the media services center where a chubby man with thick glasses supplied me with my 1941 black and white “Sullivan’s Travels” DVD and accompanying headphones that I probably got lice from, and then escorted me to my “cell” where my TV was located. I then sat for a solid 2+ hours and watched repetitive clips of the film and took shitty notes.
Now I’m in the ITC of the library and am about to dive head first into my paper. I can hardly contain my excitement.
On my way up here, of course, I stopped at the snack shack and purchased a beverage and a couple of packs of gum. Today’s choice was Trident Bubblegum. When I started opening it, I noticed a stamp proclaiming the package to have a “Trident EZ-Close-Pack.” I kept fanaggling with it, unable to figure out how to get the gum out of the carton. I felt like a monkey trying to operate a Blackberry. I ultimately tore the package to shreds, apparently missing the point and the mechanics of this so-called “EZ-Close” packaging system Trident’s got going on nowadays. The package also says their gum is “Good For Your Teeth.” I don’t know if I should believe that either.
I need to do my paper. I’m only a page and a half into it, and now the fire alarms have started going off. I, along with the 50 other diligent students surrounding me, have chosen to completely disregard the blaring sirens and continue working on our schoolwork. It’s going to take a lot more than a siren to get my ass up right now; that meaning someone would have to physically remove me from my computer chair with the use of excessive force and threats. I am not moving.
“BUS, BUS, BUS, BUS!!!”