MAX–FETCH me my SEDATIVE!

3 Feb

5:32 a.m. central daylight time: Captain’s Log: after attempting to render myself unconscious around 3:15 a.m., a mere two hours and some odd change before this, I found myself in a tossing-and-turning struggle to sink deep into a blissful slumber. I failed, and now I am distraught and very much awake. I have class in two and a half hours which is fantastic. There’s only one thing to do in this situation:

I went to town with it. Hopefully I didn’t just kill myself.

At least I’d get the longest sleep of my entire life, and maybe even make it out to enjoy some lime jello in the end.

Anyway, I think it’s clear at this point that I will not be attending Spanish this morning. Even if I wanted to, I’m assuming this Tylenol PM is gonna take me out of the game until about 2 in the afternoon if it does what it says it’s supposed to. And if THIS doesn’t work, I can always resort to Option B:

While we’re on the topic, I stumbled upon some startling discoveries on my search for a good Tylenol PM picture. First of all, with no comment because I don’t have one,

Next, I discovered that people are actually selling Tylenol PM on eBay. Are you serious? eBay? Why? People sell/ bid on TVs, baseball cards and digital cameras on eBay, not over-the-counter pain killers. The “Buy It Now” price is at $21.95, and the shipping cost is $6.95. Who in their right mind is going to make that sort of purchase? For the shipping cost alone you can buy like two boxes of it in Wal-Mart. People are complete and total retards sometimes.

This stuff is kicking in. My arms feel funny. Buenos noches.

“I’M the idiot? WHO’S the idiot.”

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