Hot-Footing it.

3 Feb

Why do Asians always seem to be in a hurry? Every time I see a Chinaman, he or she is scurrying around with a “I don’t want to run but I’m walking really really fast” brisk pace. Asians are always timid, too. They’re constantly on edge, fidgeting around as if they’re in a long grocery store line and needed to be somewhere five minutes ago. Lay off the speed, Hong Kong. Cool it and drink a brewski with the homelanders.

I am again located in the coziness of the IMU computer lab. It is safe to say I have chosen the squeakiest chair in the entire lab. The temperature is above what would classify as “room,” and I’m slightly uncomfortable, but a little strip down and things will be good as new, and in result, the place will clear out and I’ll have the lab to myself. Ha.

Anyway.

I’m all settled in to my desk-corner nook, notebooks, treats and beverages sprawled around me. My Mountain Dew cap congratulates me with “Buy one 20 oz. Dew or Pepsi and get one free!” My afternoon is starting out nicely.

After completing more school work, I plan on heading to the gym to jazzercise, hit up the Liquor House with K-Pak to purchase the goodies for tomorrow’s binge drinking bonanza, then return home, swallow life-threatening amounts of Advil PM so I can fall asleep by 10, in order for me to get my ass up by 6:30 a.m. or so to start drinking. There’s no way I make it past noon. Send a stretcher for me: I’ll be on Melrose. Literally, on Melrose, like passed out cold in the middle of the street. Go big or go home, no?

I again crumbled under the temptation of Bubblicious in its fruity, strawberry goodness after seeing that the Union had replaced the empty box with a full one. Four packs. Yup. Tooth decay is something I’ve already accepted. I may as well buy Skoal. I’m no cowgirl.

Well, I need to make myself useful and finish my godforsaken papers that I literally have fifty of. Boo. Peace, niccas. And if I don’t make it out alive after tomorrow’s shenanigans… Oh well.

“Kehly, if I jerk you off, you’re gonna jiz, ya know?”

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