Hit Me Baby, One More Time.

3 Feb

This weekend was a pleasant one, although Friday morning started off on an unpleasant note. After inducing some serious drunkenness with Kehly, Amy, and Marcus the night before, I awoke for my 10:30 class announcing how great I felt for how much I had drank hours earlier. Moments later, I say, “Wow. I feel like I could puke right now. Maybe I will.”

And then I did.

Twice.

After that, I went to class where I became very uncomfortable in the heat of the room and began squirming feverishly. My limbs and hands began to shake uncontrollably and I became extremely overheated and began to sweat. The world started to spin, and I startled the class and my oriental TA by announcing that I had to go to the rest room where I proceeded to dash in a panicky manner down the hall to die. It was a rough day for my anatomy. The end.

Laurel Jason Freemyer and her lovely sister Glenna visited the good ol’ 52242 this weekend. We started the night off right with some Skyy drinks, and finished it with two 6-packs of Bud Ice, 8 Coors Lights, and a 40. It was a fine drunkening. A mighty fine drunkening. At approximately 3:00 a.m., we decided that Pita Pit sounded like a fine idea, so we went on a White Castle-type excursion to get it. It was intense.

We started the voyage on foot in the dead of the night; Kehly began to scamper on ahead and actually ran for a good 60 seconds or so (amazing) while I saved worms from the sidewalk and Laurel spectated. We forged on the 15 blocks or so until we finally reached our destination. At some point, my bubbly conversation with the employees of Pita Pit led to the fact that we had walked from the dorms to get there. The girl goes, “Oh really? What dorms?”
“Mayflower,” I reply. She stares at me and goes, “…oh my god. You do realize we deliver…right?” hahaha. Yes we did. Anyway,

I got a Crave Bacon, and crave it I did. We chose to sit outside since the weather was so pleasant. A young black man stopped to gather taxi cab numbers from us for a moment; then another black man joined me in quoting Wedding Crashers without my asking, which was fun. Toward the end of our meal, however, the night took a dangerous turn and went awry.

I large chunk of chicken drops into my lap. I assume it came from Laurel’s gaping mouth, until Kehly says, “Becca, I think someone just threw something at you!” I laugh at her ridiculous proposal, and continue to consume my delicious treat. Moments later, what appears to be a ceramic dish or a large log smashes in front of us, mere feet from where we are sitting. Some delinquints of some sort who apparently don’t have mothers were hurling large objects at us from on top of Joe’s Place.

We quickly get up and scurry away from where we’re sitting. I turn around and see the two killers on top of the roof, so I take out my phone, pretend to dial 911 and announce VERY loudly that there were two hooligans on top of Joe’s Place who were attempting to end peoples’ lives by rocking their world with unidentified debris. They got scared and fled the scene. I win.

The night neared an end as Kehly, Laurel and I traveled BACK to Mayflower, where as we were entering the building, someone threw a banana at us from a few floors up.

Unbelievable.

Were we wearing signs on our backs? Apparently we had large targets painted on our shirts, inviting people to try their hand at attempted murder by force of impact.

Assholes.

This is really long.

________________________________________________________________
“Ya gotta giiiirlfriend? WELL YA DO NAYA!!!”

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