Alright ma, and by “ma” I’m addressing “Mother Nature”– I’m over summer weather. I’m over it. Enough of the blistering, smothering heat. Where am I, the core of the earth? It is just too big of a discomfort when I have to walk five hundred miles all over campus all afternoon and well into the evening.
I sweat like I’m getting paid to do it. Minimum wage, of course. Then I’m forced into social situations with new people that I’ve never met before in my new classes who have no choice but to sit in close proximity to my rancid stink, ruining my chances of building civil classroom relationships with my peers and fellow classmates. August needs to quit its menopausal hot flashes. I wouldn’t mind a blizzard in my bra right about now.
Today was a hectic, non-stop, productive day in the life of yours truly. The morning began at 9:30 a.m. where I awoke and hit the gym. Afterward I returned home, took a quick shower, packed up my goods and headed toward campus for classes. After my first lecture ended, I ventured into Vito’s, filled out an application, and then moseyed into Pet Central where I signed up to volunteer walking and brushing dogs.
Immediately after filling out my information, I took a huge ass dog named Barge for a thirty minute stroll in the park. Of course when I say “stroll” I mean he unmercifully yanked me around the Pentacrest like a rag doll. This dog was seriously the size of a tank. He was like a huge prehistoric dinosaur covered in fur with a serious case of salivation. Friendly, but giant. Again, I sweated large volumes.
After returning hairy old Barge to his temporary home at the shelter, I ventured downtown to spectate the unbelievable crowd slash line that had formed in anticipation of Panchero’s $1 burrito fuss. I can’t believe people waited in that line. It was a Mexican frenzy is what it was; like Tijuana on Cinco De Mayo.
That was only entertaining for 3 seconds, so then I hiked down to the IMU to push through the hustle and bustle of the crowds to gather books I needed. After waiting in a line long enough to line the eastern border of Illinois, I purchased a beverage and sat down with my fruity snack before my next class which was another ten years away.
Class ends, and I get a call from Vito’s. I scored an interview for tomorrow at 6 p.m., which is very thrilling. Next I venture to Zephyr’s to get some more books, and then Prairie Lights to, surprise, get MORE books. Plus I made some other great purchases: New Rules by Bill Maher, The Modern Drunkard by Frank Kelly Rich, and I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell by Tucker Max. Oh the fun I will have filling my brain with irreverent humor. Tee hee.
BIG DAY. Boy it’s hot. That’s all I got.
“If you ask to buy a woman a drink and she says no, she doesn’t like you. If you ask to buy a woman a drink and she says yes, she still probably doesn’t like you.”