Case of the Mondays.

3 Feb

I don’t know why people hate Mondays so much. Today was one of the better days I’ve ever had at Taco John’s, and I give the day of the week “Monday” full credit for it. There were literally no more than fifty cars in the parking lot when I arrived. Even if I had WANTED to park far away, I couldn’t. If someone had pitched the first handicap parking idea on a day like today, they would have been mocked and ridiculed on worldwide television.

Dangit.

As a side note, my keyboard is being a road whore again tonight. It doesn’t respond to certain keys, making a lot of backspacing necessary, which I do not appreciate.

Anyway, we served probably somewhere south of 10 people all day, of course until closing time arrived, and as expected, a thousand people stormed the fort to ruin our lives. This army came in the form of a Harlan boys’ team of some sort, I didn’t care to investigate. All I knew was that I wasn’t going to let them enjoy their brief encounter with me or my place of business. I became loud, outwardly angry, semi-violent, and even began personally attacking some of them.

It began with a stupid, unfortunate looking red-head who ordered a Six Pak. He was more or less provoking me by ordering such a large platter of food that I would be forced to make. I stared at him for a few moments until he felt uncomfortable and then plainly told him that I refused to make his food. He was dumbfounded at first, but eventually copped an attitude with me. If he was hot, I wouldn’t have cared, but he was ugly, so I did. Before handing him his food that I took my sweet ass time with by the way, I informed him that I licked many of his items and that he could find fun in guessing which ones had my DNA in them. He was less than amused.

Later, after much more violent outrage toward the Harlan team, the coach came up, backed by the entire team who loomed over the counter with frowns and unhappy faces. He asked for a refill, and I was a sweet heart to him because he wasn’t a 16 year old fag. He says, “These boys are saying that you’re really mean, but you’ve been nothing but nice to me!!” Ugly red goes, “YOU’RE NOT NICE!!” and I quickly and flatly respond, “You’re not cute,” and simultaneously hurled a handful of ice at him.

hahahaha.

He whines to his coach, “CAN I PUNCH HER!?” I smiled smugly and mockingly at him. “LOOK WHAT SHE DID TO ME!!” The coach simply goes, “…It’ll dry.”

hahaha. Oh…Oh me.

True story.

“Pipe down, retard.”

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