I drank somewhere north of eight gallons of Absolut last night, and my digestive system hates me today. I also ate an abundance of sushi during the drinking fiesta which I paid for horribly today. For some reason, everything I smelled smelled like fish and made me vomit. My fingers would not stop smelling like sushi, and it wasn’t because of my vagina–it was because of sushi.
I threw up 6 different times throughout the morning/afternoon. It was terrible. I couldn’t move. I was strongly considering committing suicide to end the pain, but then there wouldn’t be anyone around to annoy Kehly, and we can’t have that. I was seriously going to strip down and lay naked in the bathtub with the shower running and poop and puke on myself, because there was nothing I could do to improve my situation. However, I’m feeling much better 12 hours later.
In other news, there is no other news. This is due to the fact that I spent 98% of the day in bed and the other 2% running to the toilet to throw up. I’m going to go back to bed now. Peace.
“HE’S HITTING MEEEE! HE HITS ME ALL THE TIIIIIME!”