Alcohol: My Anti-Drug.

3 Feb
I have wanted nothing more than a Puffs lotion kleenex for the past hour of my life. Lecture was horrible. I have more runny snot on my sleeves than Kehly has fat on her body. Damn you, allergy season. Damn you.

My laundry hamper officially bit the curb. The strong wires that once spiraled around the cylindrical basket are now sticking out everywhere, posing a threat to anyone that comes within a five foot radius of it. It looks like I attacked it with a push mower. Maybe I did. I get drunk a lot. So that’s no good; I don’t really know how to handle this situation. Not only do I use that hamper as a hamper, but also as a form of luggage when I go home. Plus it’s Kehly’s time out when she’s naughty.

My throat feels like I swallowed a lit cigarette.

Today was day two of poetry from hell in my creative writing workshop. I hate William Carlos Williams. I hate him. I want to shank him with a broken bottle. Too bad he’s already dead. Then again, thank god. Poetry can kiss my ass, and that’s a fact. To make it worse, we have to sit through 2 hours of that class watching this 35 year old woman try to sleep with our teacher. She’s a homo. I hate her also.

Manana is John “I want my sweet t-shirt back from that dirty whore” Madden’s birfday celebration in the form of multiple kegs and death by drug overdose. I can’t wait. Those kinds of parties are my favorite. I plan on getting borderline retarded, and by borderline I mean mentally. It’ll be a good time. Maybe I’ll take my pants off. We’ll see.

Other things on the agenda include a considerable amount of studying for yours truly. I have two tests on Tuesday, which isn’t the most pleasant thing to look forward to. I think I’ve drank myself retarded, and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to retain information. I have no regrets.

I also have to sit down and have a talk with Kehly about how her drinking habits are becoming self-destructive. Did I say drinking? I meant eating. Everyone makes mistakes. Anyway, that’ll take years. I’ll probably sweat.

I’m off to do some shiv, folks. Keep it real.

“I am blind.”
-Helen Keller


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