Thankfull.

28 Nov

WHY HELLOOOOO!!!!!

I mean, oh, hey you guys. Sap?

Anyway, I trust you all had a filling Thanksgiving. I sure did. If you’re like most gluttonous Americans, you’re probably still digesting pecan pie and green bean casserole, and will be until Boxing Day. Trent and I whipped up a pretty braggable feast, and for all of you who were wondering if I could pull it off, I did successfully make a DELIGHTFUL sweet potato pie. In fact, it was such a hit that I am making two more this week. I should probably start jogging.

It’s really weird to me that female dogs have periods. Like….that’s not very fair. It’s not like they can just stick a tampon up there and take care of business. I’ve only ever owned male dogs, and I intend to keep it that way. I’m not interested in having an emotional, PMSing canine bleeding all over my living room, watching Lady & The Tramp, leaving empty ice cream pints on the coffee table five days a month. Slap a Kotex on that bitch.

I’m really pissed about people who are famous for having things like the “longest hair in the world” or the “longest nails in the world.” It’s so stupid. Having the longest (also see: most disgusting) fingernails in the world does not make you rich. It doesn’t make you more attractive, more desirable, envied, or of a higher social status. It just makes you gross. Cut your nails. They’re not making you any money.  “But I’m famous!!!”  You also can’t eat with a fork or wipe your ass. Cut your nails.


.
CUT THEM!!!!

WELL, that’s about it for today. If you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe to Sheppard’s Pie (see right margin of the site to subscribe) and then start leaving comments in order to put yourself into the drawing for this month’s prize drawing!

(See more here: http://beccasheppard.wordpress.com/prizes/ )

This month I’m going to be sending one lucky reader a nice compilation of the rockin’est Christmas jingles you’ve ever heard, plus a few other Christmas surprises. Woo! None of those surprises is poop, I promise. Each comment you leave puts your name into the drawing. See the previous post for details! GOOD LUCK, LADS!

By the way, everyone. I know thankful is spelled “thankful.” It was a play on words. I am very “full” after Thanksgiving. Sigh. Don’t ever second guess my grammar like that again, or you’re OUT.

Toodles.

__________________________________________________________________

B:   “An apple a day keeps the STDs away!”

S:   “I wish I woulda known that in college. I would’ve eaten ‘em by the bushel!” 

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8 Responses to “Thankfull.”

  1. Faux Negro November 28, 2011 at 10:36 pm #

    I’m dreaming of candied pecans and mashy sweet potato goodness. Nom.

  2. jcabsep November 30, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

    That is nasty- wonder how many second dates she gets?

    • beccasheppard November 30, 2011 at 8:45 pm #

      I bet the dog gets more dates.

      Welcome to my blog!

  3. Nick November 30, 2011 at 9:19 pm #

    How do you go from eating sweet potatoes to dog’s periods? I’m not judging, I could never do that…just a little curious.

  4. Abbye December 1, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    Sooooo this post was created on my birthday, coincidence? I don’t think so… Immaculate conception like I? possibly. Great birthday present… probably. (;

  5. Jessica Roxburgh December 1, 2011 at 8:47 pm #

    i agree with you. the fingernail thing is soooo repulsive. there is a lady that comes into the casino i work at that has fingernails like the ones in the picture above. she sits at a slot machine and she has to use the side of her hand to press the buttons because of her nails. it is soooo nasty!!!!

  6. Andrea lee December 2, 2011 at 11:40 pm #

    I want that lady to scratch my back! Also this christmas cd business is awesome…am I entered now? My favorite christmas song is feliz navidad. It gets max and I pepped up for christmas I hope its on the cd! And I too am sick as shit of michael buble!

    • beccasheppard December 2, 2011 at 11:48 pm #

      You are! Every time you leave a comment, your name is entered into the drawing again. I am big on some Celine Dion “Feliz Navidad.” So great.

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